Who will I be?

I am really worried about who I will be once I graduate with my Masters degree. Not in terms of "who" I will be, but "what" I will be to the world. For the last 20 years I have been a student (!!), and so that's who/what I view myself to be, and, essentially, what the world sees me as. I am a daughter, a friend, a sister, a cousin, a girlfriend...all these statuses are ingrained in the essence of who I am, and so is being a student. Come August, I will be losing a huge part of who I am, and I find that so disturbing... what will I "be" when I go to the doctor and they ask me what my occupation is?? Or fill out a form?? Because I am traveling and working for a year before settling down in a full-time job, I will be "unemployed". Is that my status? Should I keep up the ruse of a "student"? Should I associate with my degree and be a "soil scientist"? Or with my up-bringing and be a "farmer"?

The one thing that university doesn't prepare you for is the big, real world. I am used to the change of school terms- my daily life shifting every 4 months, my evenings filled with homework (or thoughts of homework), and stressing about juggling part-time work with pleasure and school. It is hard to imagine an evening with no thoughts of schoolwork or an upcoming meeting... Part of me wants to enroll into a PhD program just so that I can continue to be a student... Maybe one day I will... In the near future, I hope to become a wife, and a mommy, and maybe after that a student again. We'll see.

For now though, I need to focus on the moment, and write, write, write... Things are coming along well. It is very fulfilling to bring together the last 2 years of my labour into graphs and tables and words, all condensed into 80 pages. :)

Farm Life

I'm moving home to the farm in a little over a month and so I've started packing up some things and bringing boxes back to the country. I headed out to the farm on Friday afternoon and ended up staying the entire weekend! Besides the fact that its nice to visit with my parents (and siblings, when they are home), being on the farm makes me LOVE being outside! The city does absolutely nothing to motivate myself to get outside and enjoy the weather...I have no balcony and no green space that belongs to my apartment. The park down the street doesn't have any picnic benches and I hate having to drive 20 minutes to the closest park that does... The air is dusty and stinks all the time. I wonder to myself alot as to how I managed to live in the city for the last 5 years! I did live in a house with a backyard and small garden for the bulk of it, so I did have access to the outdoors, but it definitely isn't the same as the country air.

On the farm, I get up and enjoy the sunshine, the birds singing, the fresh breeze from my parent's deck. I can walk to my Grandma's house for morning tea and a game of "King's Corner" or put in a few pieces of a puzzle. I can walk down to the river and listen to the trickling water and if I'm lucky see a muskrat swim by. With the change in season, geese and ducks, swans and pelicans appear. I can walk to the arena and find soft, mewing kittens in the hay. I can lay on my back at night and actually see the stars, no street lights here! I can fall asleep to the sound of crickets and wake up to the sound of chirping birds... forget about fire trucks and screeching cars!!

I am really looking forward to life on the farm. Yes, I will lose my cute little apartment and bachelor benefits (no getting up at midnight to make cookies or parading around in my underwear anymore!), but I am coming back to my roots and it feels good.